


Fire Me

by Joshanddonna



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 01:01:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19713121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joshanddonna/pseuds/Joshanddonna
Summary: Josh and Donna get carried away and are forced to have a serious conversation about their relationship.





	Fire Me

Donna sat at the inaugural ball feeling confused, anxious, and full of butterflies. She sat alone, toying with the empty champagne glass on the table, drifting off into her own little world. She was busy digesting two conflicting circumstances: being terrified that the President was disappointed in her and being over the moon that Josh had thrown snowballs at her window and told her she looked amazing. She had no idea what to make of the signals Josh was sending her. He had made it pretty clear that he was jealous of Jack, but he hadn’t made any explicit effort to tell her how he felt. This was always the game with them. Josh would get jealous, Donna would hold out hope that something would finally change, and then it would go back to normal. Their normal, at least. 

Josh spotted Donna from across the ballroom. He was talking to some Democratic congressmen who were trying to take advantage of the fact that they got him in a good mood, maybe even a little tipsy. Josh was so distracted by Donna that he had no idea what policy they were trying to get support for and he didn’t care. He nodded along with their pitch, all the while staring past them to catch a glimpse of the lonely blonde at the assistants’ table. He couldn’t take it anymore. “Excuse me gentlemen”,  
He made his way towards the table, realizing more and more with every step that what he was about to do was a bad idea. He forgot that he was supposed to care about what this would look like. 

“Wanna dance?” He held his hand out to her.  
“Okay”, she said through her grin. She put her hand in his and let him guide her to the dance floor.  
He smiled nervously at her while he struggled to decide where to put his hands. He settled with putting both hands on her lower back, while Donna placed hers behind his neck. They were beaming at each other like teenagers at their high school prom. CJ and Toby spotted them from another corner of the room and gave each other a knowing look. “Here we go.” CJ muttered to herself. 

Josh pulled Donna close to him, trying to savor every moment. He wanted her as close as possible, and he never wanted to let go. He thought back to the last inaugural ball when he didn’t get to dance with her and regretted it. He thought about every other time he wanted to be close to her and chickened out. Every time he could’ve held her hand but didn’t, could’ve told her but couldn’t find the words, could’ve kissed her but didn’t have the courage. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the leftover exhilaration from the President’s speech earlier that night, but Josh found his courage.  
“Let’s get outta here.” He whispered in Donna’s ear. “Meet me in my office.” 

Donna got to Josh’s office first, and she paced inside for what must have been several minutes. Josh was faced with several obstacles on his way to meet with Donna. Democratic operatives, a drunk Danny asking Josh to read his entire story, CJ trying to confront him about the optics of his dance with Donna. He didn’t care. Nothing was going to stop him. When he finally reached her, he couldn’t find the words he needed to say. It took a lot to leave Josh Lyman speechless. Donna standing in his office, gazing at him as if he was the whole world, was enough to stop him in his tracks. He approached her slowly, trying to gage her reaction and make sure she was on the same page. He caressed the side of her face before kissing her softly. As Josh found his confidence, the kiss became less gentle and far more passionate. Donna lightly tugged at his curls while Josh’s hands made their way from her neck to her back. She undid his bow tie and began unbuttoning his dress shirt.

“Donna, are you sure?” He asked cautiously.  
“Yes” She nodded, more sure than she has ever been.  
Josh responded by reuniting his mouth with hers and grabbing hold of her dress zipper. He guided her to his desk and placed her on top of it. Donna pushed the papers aside, as she had in many of her wildest dreams.

They finally got rid of the layers of formal clothing that were practically their only separation from each other the entire night. Next thing she knew, Donna was on Josh’s desk with her legs wrapped around him as he thrust himself into her. She threw her head back as Josh placed kisses down her neck. She expected it would be good if it ever happened with her and Josh, but she didn’t know it would be like this. It was euphoric. It was more than sex, it was intimacy. It was their way of expressing everything they felt for each other in that moment, and in all the moments that had come and gone. They were as close to each other as two people could be without morphing into one. Josh ruined Donna’s curls as he ran his hands through her hair. He sent shivers down her spine as he whispered into her ear. “Donna, you look beautiful.” 

It was easy for Josh and Donna to pretend they were the only two people on Earth, especially in that moment. An unwelcome knock at the door snapped them out of that fantasy.  
“Josh?” came CJ’s voice from the other side of the door. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”  
“Give me a minute, CJ!” Josh yelled frantically, his voice an octave higher than usual. Josh and Donna haphazardly threw their clothes on. Barely put together, Josh opened the door for CJ. Donna grabbed a folder from the desk and tried to look busy and casual. It didn’t help that one side of her dress was practically falling off of her shoulder, her ringlets had descended into frizzy waves, and her forehead was covered in beads of sweat. Josh’s dress shirt was buttoned crooked and halfway, his hair more of a mess than usual. His bow tie had somehow ended up in the middle of the floor. Josh and Donna were both beat red. CJ looked back and forth between the two of them suspiciously. “Josh, can I talk to you privately for a minute?”  
“I’m just gonna go home.” Donna said abruptly, gathering her heels as she rushed out of Josh’s office, clearly embarrassed. Josh felt terrible. He wanted to chase after her, but he knew that would only make matters worse.  
“Josh, is there something I need to know about you two? If you’re gonna tell someone, you tell me. I have already told Sam this, why do I have to say it to you? I’m the person you tell.”  
As she spoke, it became increasingly clear that Josh was not listening, but instead looking out the door as his assistant gathered her things and practically sprinted out of the West Wing.  
“Go.” CJ surrendered. She knew she would never get anywhere with Josh when he was concerned about Donna. She didn’t know what exactly was going on with him, but she knew that much.  
“Thanks.” 

Josh took off after Donna in an attempt to reach her before she got in her car. He finally caught up with her as she was about to open the gate. “Donna! Donna, wait.”  
“Josh, no. That was humiliating! I’m not going to be your dirty little secret. I’m not going to be the assistant that everybody gossips about because they’re sleeping with their boss. I’m not doing this. CJ catching us made it pretty clear this is a stupid idea.” She was trying so hard to keep it together, but having to say that being with the love of her life was a “stupid idea” made her fall apart.  
Josh looked genuinely hurt by Donna’s statement. “Donna, is that what you think you are to me?”  
“Josh, you sent me to your office to wait for you, walked in the door and started kissing me with no explanation. Clearly you sent me in there to sleep with me.”  
“Donna, that- that wasn’t my intention. You just looked so- so... Donna do you feel like I took advantage of you? Donna I’m so sorry” He was getting choked up as he said it, stepping further away from her. He wanted her to feel safe, like her space was being respected. He went from feeling like he was on top of the world to feeling like a total creep.  
“No, Josh. I was a very willing participant in what happened. I made a choice, and now I’m making a choice not to be embarrassed again.” She spat back.  
“Okay. I respect that but Donna, I need you to know... this wasn’t just about.. that. That was great, don’t get me wrong, but you’re-“ He stopped short of finishing the sentence, as he often does.  
“I’m what, Josh? You’re not going to finish the sentence are you? You can never just say it. It’s typical. It’s fine. We can pretend this never happened.”  
Josh, feeling the tears start to burn in his eyes, looked straight at the ground. Donna turned on her heels to approach the gate and head to her car. Josh was tired of feeling weak. He was tired of being afraid. Most of all, he was tired of disappointing her. He lightly grabbed her arm before she had a chance to open the gate.  
“You’re everything, Donna. Why do you think I never asked Joey Lucas out? Why do you think my relationship with Amy didn’t work out? There is always something stopping me and it’s you. It has always been you. I don’t know what this is, and I know there is a strong possibility that it could be very, very stupid. But I know that I don’t want to go another day pretending it doesn’t exist.” Josh felt like he had just ran a marathon. He held his breath as he waited for her response to his big, embarrassing declaration.  
“Okay..” She hesitated. “Do you wanna maybe, come over? Have a real conversation?”  
“I would love that.” 

Josh and Donna fall into a familiar rhythm when they enter her apartment. Josh goes to the fridge and grabs a beer for them to share, Donna goes into her room and changes into pajamas. Josh loosens his tie and makes himself comfortable on her couch. Donna sat next to him silently, unsure of whether she should be the first to speak. She was the one who ran away, but he was the one who kissed her. He was the one who started all of this. She decided that it was josh’s responsibility and sat quietly, staring at the label of their beer bottle. “Donna, I don’t know what you want me to say. I told you how I feel.” Josh said calmly, trying to avoid upsetting her even more.  
“That doesn’t change the fact that you’re my boss. It doesn’t change the fact that people will look at me differently. I don’t love the dynamic of being in a relationship with someone who I get paid to take orders from. I want to be respected. It took a long time for me to gain respect and I’m not going to lose it for a man. Even if that man is you. Can you honestly tell me that this is worth jeopardizing our jobs?” Donna asked, not sure what answer she was searching for.  
“I thought I had made that pretty clear, Donna. I have risked my job for you and I would do it again.”  
“You don’t mean that, you’re drunk.”  
“No, I’m not.”  
Donna could see that every inch of him was completely serious. She knew when Josh was bullshitting, she was fluent in Josh Lyman after all.  
Donna, who always knows what to say, couldn’t find the words she wanted. All she could do was stare at the man in front of her and give him a silent apology for failing to say everything they both wanted her to. Josh was no longer able to handle the silence.  
“I’m gonna go and give you your space. Call me in the morning.” Josh stood up and started for the door.  
Donna wanted him to stay but she couldn’t bring herself to say it, and she knew it wasn’t fair for him to sit there and watch her try and decide how she felt after he opened his heart to her. The door shut, leaving Josh one side praying Donna would change her mind, and Donna on the other, paralyzed and practically attached to her couch. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in her apartment window, looking scared and small. Few things got Donna Moss really angry, and feeling scared and small was one of them. She suddenly summoned a courage similar to that which she found when she decided to leave her home to work on a long-shot campaign in New Hampshire. She jumped off of the couch and ran down the hallway, barefoot and in her pajamas. When she reached Josh, he had just stepped into the elevator. She stopped the doors from closing by smacking the doors, causing Josh’s head to snap up in disbelief. “Fire me.” Donna blurted out.  
“Donna, what?”  
“Fire me. I’m too smart to be an assistant. Fire me.” She demanded, with a fierceness Josh had never seen in her eyes.  
He smirked at the fearless woman standing before him. “You’re fired.” He crossed over the threshold of the elevator to scoop Donna up into his arms. She gasped at the gesture before grabbing his neck to pull him in for a kiss. Josh carried his former assistant into her bedroom to finish what they started in his office just 3 hours ago. This time, nobody would be knocking.


End file.
